Final Thoughts
by helebette
Summary: For Swan Queen Week, the ultimate homage to the storytellers of the OUaT fandom. Cheers to you all, you inspire the writing. This one is all about 'awkward' moments. It was inspired by a soap opera from my youth, in which two het characters randomly ended up naked in a cabin together. Hilarious! There should really be a second chapter coming soon (as soon as I can mange;)


**[author's note: I'm finding myself writing one-shots in the wake of season 3's disastrous ending. Apologies for not continuing what I've started, I promise that I am trying. In the meantime, super duper gratitude for those who continue to leave those encouraging little comments on all of these stories. More will emerge over time, I'm sure, as OUaT becomes less of a sore spot and more of a sort of well-mulched garden of potential storytelling****]**

**Final Thoughts.**

They were fighting in the middle of Regina's kitchen. Emma was sick of being mocked for her romantic choices (if she could call them that) and Regina was always ready with a jab at the Hooked Idiot (her nickname).

"On what _planet_ is your absurd dalliance suitable and appropriate for our son?"

Questioning Emma's commitment to Henry was never a good thing, considering how insecure she was about her abilities as a mother. She felt her heart leap into her throat and barely managed to shout, "You are the _most_ obnoxious asshole, I have ever fucking met!" It was the emphasis that Emma placed on 'most' that got her in trouble. And Regina, in a moment of weakness—her feelings hurt over the 'asshole' part—did nothing to defend herself when a wave of red arcs shot from Emma's hands and set every stitch of clothing she was wearing on fire.

And then, Emma Swan heard the most terrifying noise of her entire life.

It came from Regina, like a roar and a scream. And then it erupted in a burst of green and purple magic that hit Emma like a freight train with echoes of screaming in her ears.

When she came to, her skin ached and stung from where she rested and she could smell dankness and rotting leaves.

"What the hell?" Emma muttered her disdain for where she'd found herself lying, face down. She kept her cheek pressed to the cool ground of the forest. It took a second or two to figure out their situation.

First of all, she was naked. And when she craned her neck sideways, she saw that Regina was as well.

"How did…" Emma started to talk again but then her mouth went dry. Regina was like…_really_, really naked. She was trying to cover herself by keeping her legs crossed and her right arm over her breasts.

"We did some kind of spell, by accident, I don't know how..." Regina rushed ahead, "we have to figure out the origins of the spells we used, because right now, I can't undo what we've done and we're stuck out there." Regina tried glaring. She was probably embarrassed, Emma figured. Still, she just looked relieved to see Emma awake.

"Where are we?" Emma remained splayed out on her stomach. Less to see that way, she figured.

"I'm not sure. Which is why I can't get us back a familiar place."

"And our clothing?"

Regina's eyes widened. Her voice shook uncharacteristically. "We may have been trying to kill one another, at the very same moment, but some underlying thought made the spell more…_whimsical_…"

"You tried to kill me?"

"No. You tried to kill me." Regina scowled even more.

"I wasn't…No, I wouldn't have." That hadn't been her intent when she lost her temper and threw her anger at Regina. It had been something else, something like…an expression of disappointment. At her own choices. At Regina's. A desire to see them both be honest for once. Her final thought was more elusive. Sure, she'd been angry. Regina had attacked her for dating someone she was in the process of breaking it off with. It hurt in more ways than one. But her last thought had been about making things simpler between them.

"There's an old farmhouse behind us. I would like to see what's there." Regina turned aside, giving Emma a chance to get to her feet.

As they walked, Emma went first, moving the branches aside for Regina. "Wait." She stopped and Regina bumped into her from behind.

"What?" Regina hissed.

"What if this is the home of like…the three bears or something? And we're Goldilocks?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Regina added, "that particular story isn't part of our world." She glared, a second later, when Emma found herself staring. "Eyes up, Swan."

"Oh. Right, sorry. Just. Uhhh…you're naked." And damn if she didn't have like a really nice ass. And her breasts were perkier than they had any business being. But what Emma kept staring at was the curve of the woman's ribcage. And her belly. And her knees. And then there was…

"You know what?" Regina grumbled. "_You_ walk ahead now."

_Awkward _didn't even cover the rest of their little rendezvous. Emma could feel eyes on her ass the whole way. And it wasn't like she wasn't proud of her ass—she worked hard for it! It was just that being watched as avidly as she was…well it was sort of turning her on. She was thankful for anatomical blessings, like how easily she could hide the rush of blood to various parts of her body. When they reached the house and Regina started searching for a key, Emma stood back and crossed her arms to hide painfully erect nipples. Her skin felt too warm and too tight when Regina got too close. None of this was good, and none of it made sense. They'd just been _screaming_ at one another.

But this place felt familiar, and it was making Emma feel a whole lot friendlier toward Regina. She called out, "I thought that you said that you didn't know where we were," when the other woman held up a key triumphantly. Emma's fingers closed around a purple vase sitting on an old wooden table outside the main door. It had had flowers in it, not long ago. Her favourites. Daffodils. And beside it were two long, wooden chairs, one of which she claimed as her own.

"I don't." Regina said. "I just had a feeling that this key would be exactly where it was." She looked thoughtfully at Emma and added, "You know…I can only think of one puppeteer who would alter our timelines so as to destroy our lives, just to see what happens next."

"Gold."

"Rumpelstiltskin. Remember his real name, Emma. I'm sure that even his recent marriage holds some ulterior motive. He can't help himself." Regina spoke slowly as though she wasn't certain of her own thinking. "What possible motivation would he have, to send us to an alternate universe in the middle of an argument? The spells we used seemed to combine into something else, something we weren't responsible for. Why do you think that is, Emma?" She gestured to the now open door and then walked inside first. They silently scanned the main living area for a minute. It was empty except for a futon. "Emma?" Regina's voice was soft in the quiet of the house.

The way Regina kept saying her name was doing odd things to Emma's stomach. "Oh. Why would he?" Was all she could say. "Right. Uh, so…" She resumed looking around for a blanket or something. There wasn't one. There weren't even pillows. Regina went upstairs to look for more of the same while Emma walked her bare ass over to the sparse woodpile in the corner of the living room. Someone had jammed the wood into neat triangles, all gathered up inside the wall in a tight fitting black metallic container. Above the pile was an image—of a small white horse, carved into the wall with ivory laid overtop the carving. She grabbed the smallest logs and threw them into a triangle in the fireplace, then used the matches beside the rack of pokers.

"Here." The voice startled her and Emma nearly fell on her ass because of it. She nearly fell again when a t-shirt was thrown her way. The shirt was black and grey with three-quarter length sleeves and the name 'Tallahassee Eagles" on the front. The second her fingers touched the material, some of the story came flooding back…

Or. Forward? It all became clear, either way…

This place was their summer home. Her house and Regina's.

"I realized where we were when I saw the master bedroom." Regina's voice squeaked at the end, with nervousness or with something else.

"What did you see in the bedroom?" Emma tried to keep her voice light but she had an idea about the answer to that question.

"Oh. Ummm. Nothing. Just…a bed." Regina paused. Her face was flushed though and her eyes were glassy and she couldn't meet Emma's gaze for a second. "I saw some images of our future here. Except…I think we're currently in the past as far as this place goes. No, wait, we're in the future but the past of the future. We're obviously gone for some reason and your shirt is here so we were here." She held onto the cotton material in Emma's hand, reminding them both that Emma was still ridiculously naked while she herself wore at least a tank top.

It took a mighty effort but Emma managed to wrangle the shirt from Regina's grip. When she slipped it on, she felt her chest heat and her heart do a strange skip. Regina's eyes were like a caress. It was as though whatever images Regina had caught a glimpse of upstairs, were suddenly changing her mind toward Emma.

Emma had the grace to at least speak clearly if she couldn't fight the heat that just kept climbing. "Ummm. So this is awkward."

"Our clothing? Yes, obviously…" Regina sighed, shifting to adjust her shirt. In front of them, the world's smallest fire tried to catch. She glanced warily at Emma then snuck a nod in that lifted the flames.

"No, up there." Emma gestured. "I mean being _here_. I mean what…_when_…does this all start happening between us?"

"You're asking me as if I know." Regina sputtered and sat up straighter. "How could you possibly think that I would arrange such a thing?"

"I don't, I mean it's weird. But like…we were really angry. Maybe we would have ruined things for our future selves." This time, it was Emma who shifted. She was cold. Her arm touched Regina's and she was relieved when the other woman didn't move.

"Perhaps our future selves fixed things for us." Regina seemed pleased at that thought anyhow.

"So…" Emma couldn't let it go. "I know we both have boyfriends and all. But, are things sort of aiming in this direction or do you see it all unfolding over a longer…"

"Robin and I broke up." Regina interrupted. "So you can stop taking your frustrations out on me. He's back with his partner who, from what I hear, wants less and less to do with him the more she sees of his current behavior." Now Regina had the audacity to shift over until her ice cold feet were jammed beneath Emma's thighs. It was a sudden, odd move, considering how little affection they'd ever shared. But in this house, at this time, it felt normal. Emma lifted up a little and made herself comfortable.

They watched the fire awhile in silence. After a half hour or so, Regina spoke. "I think I have it figured out. I can use something on our timeline as an anchor." She muttered something about finding that damn half eaten apple and now needing to use their underwear or something.

"What? To get us home?" Emma felt a pang of disappointment, and confusion, like something was still left undone. And also because Regina was still wondering about the location of their clothing, as though their bras might hold the key to time travel. "Wait, let me find a washroom before you move us." She said. She was curious though, about the room upstairs and she wanted an excuse to check it out before leaving.

She took the stairs quickly and then found the en suite. As she peed, she looked over into the main room. Nothing seemed weird there. It was empty. A bit dusty like the rest of the house. When she was finished, she had to use a piece of paper from the countertop. She wanted a shower and she wanted to sleep, but Regina had to time warp them or some shit so she rushed out of the room and let herself bounce on the bed only quickly and briefly—as though testing out a theory or two.

A theory that worked well. She was flooded with images from her time with Regina.

"And we are going to do some seriously dirty things." Emma snorted after speaking out loud. "Woah…" An image of her with her face buried between the backs of Regina's thighs while Regina swayed on all fours was particularly graphic and interesting. She'd never gone down on a woman much less…

"Ms. Swan!" Regina interrupted, her eyes wide as she looked at the splayed out woman on the—their—bed. "We can leave now." She trailed off. Her mouth fell open at the lust in Emma's eyes. "No. I mean. Not yet. We have to go." Regina trailed off weakly, shifting from foot to foot.

The spell was relatively easy, leading Emma to wonder if they'd spent a bit too much time together for reasons other than Regina's magic. When they arrived back in Regina's kitchen, there was a lengthy silence.

With a deep breath, Regina finally asked, "Did you mean it? When you called me an asshole?"

Emma shook her head. "No. I was just upset. I'm sorry about that." She took a deep, shaky breath. "It won't happen again. I promise."

"I like you like this." Regina blurted out. "Not undressed, just…" Emma snorted and Regina rolled her eyes before saying, "what I _mean_ is…you don't seem angry or closed off. It's…nice."

"Yeah? Well." Emma smiled, really, really pleased. "Maybe we should do this again sometime." A second after speaking, she wanted to kick herself. "I mean in terms of spending time together. Not fighting. Or all of that time travel spell business."

"Perhaps, you might stay for dinner in that case." Regina smirked, her old confidence rushing back with a vengeance. "You'll have to dress appropriately for it, of course."

Emma rolled her eyes and went upstairs with Regina, to find something more to wear. As she walked, she made sure that her hips swayed just a little and her shirt rode up just enough.


End file.
